Voskanini.

I heard someone slightly garble a phrase on TV yesterday and I was instantly reminded of the man who used to sit on the other side of the partition from me. Jeff Voskans. He was an amazing character from the tidbits of his history that I know. He grew up in Eastern Europe, and in his teens he was a translator for the Allies in Europe in WWII. Years later Governor Bob Ray hired him to do something I don't remember for the State of Iowa. In the 1980's he worked for DHS in the new fraud unit, mainly working on food stamp fraud, I think. I used to overhear his hilarious telephone conversations. When he was feeling Italian and operatic, he called himself "Voskanini." That was purposeful, but he had some slips, too. My favorite slip was the time he had called Des Moines Police and was describing a possible miscreant as having "shoulder length almost hair." There was a potential fraud perpetrator known by law enforcement as "Pickles." Voskans' take on this was "da peekle." He wasn't trying to be funny, either. I wish I could remember more, because he was a brilliant man who thought a little faster than he spoke. I entertained my friends on his statements for months.