What not to wear.

I'm sitting in the teacher "lounge" in the elem/middle school and just saw a young boy walking into the building. Late and in shirtsleeves. Short shirtsleeves, to boot. It is definitely cool enough to need a coat. Then I start thinking of all the kids without appropriate clothing. I know standards have relaxed, but still. I remember observing a kid two years ago in Kindergarten and the teacher had him come over and show me his coat. First of all, he wasn't supposed to know I was observing him! And second, he shouldn't realize that we thought there was anything wrong with his coat. It was his mom's coat. The sleeves hung about a foot below his arms, which probably made up for the lack of gloves. It was huge on him and not in the best shape, but he acted like he liked it. I told him it was nice and furry or some such. At least it looked pretty warm.

That makes me think of all the trouble my mom went to making sure my brother and I dressed appropriately for school. Once in third grade, I came out to the kitchen for breakfast in my favorite dress from 2nd grade -- navy blue with red and white polka dots, fitted dropped waist with a red band. I loved that dress! But my mom said it was "poolawarn," teaching me that meant threadbare in Danish. She let me wear it that day, but I think that was it.

The real trouble for my mom was in finding clothes that fit me. We went to a store, I think it was People's in CB, that sold "chubby" sizes. The Shame! Plus a very limited selection. Oh! My mom hated shopping to begin with so you can just imagine the drama at the store. Lots of fights and tears. We would never agree on what we should buy. My mom complained that she had such a hard time finding things to fit me in the first place. She was always fussing about it. Sometimes we'd buy something and have it altered. Occasionally we had something made, but that was almost worse. I think I felt like it was my job to cause this dressing problem. It was also about the only way I really got my mom's attention.

Then my mom complained that she would buy me things that hung in the closet because I wouldn't wear them. She was right. She would coax me into buying something that I didn't like at all because it fit and met her criteria of respectability. Then it would hang in the closet. I guess I chose my outfit each day at a pretty young age, so what to wear wasn't a big fight. But the shopping trips were. Finally when I was in junior high, I started getting a clothing allowance and was responsible for buying my own clothes. Life was better then. For both of us.