Making myself insane. Or insane-er.

Oy vey. That big acronym IPERS is flashing off and on in my troubled mind. What, oh what, is going to happen with it? And consequently, what oh what is going to happen to me?

After having the alarm sounded by a friend who understands legislation and money -- definitely not a Henny Penny -- I have spent huge amounts of time, brain cells, emotion and anything else I've got worrying about when I need to retire.

After about a month of fussing and fuming and thinking, I am convinced that the changes that will occur next legislative session will mean that the retirement ages for full retirement will increase. Like social security has. Now for SS, people have to be 67 or so to have full bennies when they retire, up from 65. For IPERS benefits, I am retiring under the rule of 62 plus 20 -- age 62 plus have worked at least 20 years in IPERS. And I, by the grace of the goddess and all that is good and holy. will turn 62 with 4 days to spare. My birthday is Dec. 27 and the earliest they can make changes effective will be Jan. 1. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I feel like I have been nearly scathed, but escaped by a hairsbreadth. Forgive the story book language; it just feels that momentous. I am almost shaken, like after a near miss while driving.

So, then after a brief thankful pause, I start to fret about whether or not I am ready. And whether or not the AEA will cooperate by letting me out of my contract mid-year and getting all my salary to me by the end of December. Because you aren't retired until the salary stops coming in. I've talked to my supervisor about this a week or two ago and asked about finding someone what might replace me, but it is the start of the year and other problems are more pressing for her at present.

My worst case scenario is to quit in September or so, and then let my paychecks come in. I could start drawing IPERS in January. Oh, BTW, it makes little difference in the amount of my IPERS benefit if I go in December as opposed to June. But on the anxiety scale, I am going through the roof. This is all so sudden and it takes a heck of a lot of getting used to. When I think of all the times people talked about getting ready to retire and how stressful and how much there was to do and blah blah blah, and I thought they were being ridiculous... Now I understand and frankly, I'm about ready for some tranquilizers.